Part 1

G'day ol' chaps.

16 nm east of Calgary. 9500 ft msl., 120 knots and blue skies. The sexy
sound of the Shvetsov ASh-62IR engine massaging my tympanic membrane.

Here's your happy CEO talking (writing). Happy, because I am currently
flying high above the troubles on the ground. Near the clouds, in the blue
sky. Victoria is seated right of me, and she looks equally happy. Nice to
be back in the cockpit of the Waterpipe after such a long time...

Cpt. Troll, Sir. We are a bit late, sorry - but we planned to fly all the
way to Winnipeg in three legs, and thus two stops to pick up different
cargo (and some food for us).

That's the version for the hurried ones. Victoria, the Waterpipe and
Cpt. Hak are on the way to Winnipeg. First leg's station: Empress CYEA.
ETA: 12:05 LTZ.

For those who are sitting in their pilot pub chairs, having
a drink and being damned to keep their butts on the ground, while we
two enjoy the autopilot more than 2 miles high above ground...
here's the longer version. (You know 155 kts cruise speed gives you enough
time to write PIREPS in advance... :)

The last few days, I was busy rearranging parts of the Archipelago IT
infrastructure, and Victoria was looking to grab the best paid job available
in the vicinity of Banff and Calgary. The Lago Espirito IT center now
sports a newly configured, fast and reliable server pool, and we have
improved many aspects of the services so our company can grow without
being hindered by technological limitations.

Victoria was hanging on the phone for hours, and left suddenly and without
any notice. It took 24 hours for her to get back. That's very unusual, you
know. Vic' always leaves me a note. So I was a bit worried and maybe also
jealous, I confess. But once again, my fears proved to be unfounded, and she
came back with a big grin. One of those grins that usually announce a great
deal she got done. You know how girls are. When it comes to house works,
this grin usually tells me that she has tricked me into something I certainly
never would have agreed willingly. It's this "heheee. I got him cold" smile.

I was first happy to see her back healthy and happy. Then I was worrying
again, not knowing if this grin is geared towards me or not... So I took
some preventive measures and invited her to the local chinese restaurant.

There, I applied the Sake-attack scheme. The warm rice wine is something
that helps to disarm a woman, especially counters their most dangerous
weapons: meaningful bur wordless chuckle and this deadly eyes... Both get
a bit out of sync after just a few glasses.

However, she is more clever than I. This is a recurrent insight, but I
always forget that too soon... Before I noticed, I had five glasses and she
only one. And from then on, I only know that I don't know how I came back
to my hotel bed, and who exactly had, in my name, and with my pen, signed
these contracts for the cargo flights I find myself in now...

Obviously, Victoria had the nerve to get her hands onto a job to transport
4 dead bodies. At least that's what I first read on the contract. But no fear.
I didn't sign a contract to paint the Waterpipe black... the dead bodies are
in fact mumies of the prince Abdul-Haschi bin Abhalla al-Shrek and his
three servants. They are to be relocated to a Museum near Empress. They will
be picked up at the airfield. Well, it doesn't really matter what you
transport in your cargo room, as long as the door to the cockpit is really
tight and of a certain penetration resistance... The trick Victoria drew was:
first the conservative etheric oils of the bio-isolation of the Waterpipe
are scientificaly proven to be antibiotic. Thus, the mumies will have a very
low risk to being infected (not that they care, but it sounds good. And it
sounds expensive, no?). Second the STOL and the extreme low Take off and
landing speed ensured that the mumies only undergo a slight acceleration.
This is extremely important to not stress the very old and very dry bandages
of our four beauties... we don't want to deliver them half naked, do we?
Third, I agreed to not add anyting else on board, to keep the chance
of the mumies being damaged by other cargo low, and to completely fill
the Waterpipe with shock absorbing materials. That's where the little
cargo contract I *willingly* had signed late night in the local
"coffee shop". I had a good opportunity to experiment with other biological
isolation materials. But let's skip details...

So, we loaded the mumies with the help of Baldwin, the museum director,
the mumies were fixed with belts onto the Waterpipe's belly. Then I
sent Victoria and Baldwin to finish the formalities, while Pete "HeyJoe"
Hobbarts and I will start loading the cargo room with said isolation
material.

We took off in Banff at 10:35 local time and estimated the time enroute,
based on the latest METAR, to be around 1:30. Arrived at cruise
altitude 9000 ft msl approx 18 minutes, configured the Waterpipe and
started to enjoy the trip (see paragraph 2).

We flew towards EW9, picked up radials to the YBW Calgary VOR, passed
the YYC Calgary VOR and targeted DARKE waypoint. 12 Minutes ago,
we passed ROLKO waypoint, and now we are approx. 100 nm from Empress.

Anyway. I might have overdone a little bit with the isolation material.
it looks like at 9kft msl, the material evaporates some of it's
most delicate fumes. We currently have a groovy atmosphere here in
the cockpit. I see delicous red clouds handing in front of the windshield,
some neon green flashes traverse the whole universe. Sparks and
shimmer everywhere. The air seems to be endless, the engine noise
turns into a crescendo of deeply exciting rhythms... Hey, the dials
really have an expressive light, do't ya agree, Vic'? Ahh, I feel so,
so united with the universe!

... and I am sure I have heard some voices back in the cargo room. I
swear there were voices...

What? Me? No, Vic', I didn't say a word. What do you mean by "sneezing"
in the cargo room???

Anyway. Man, things go cool here, ey. Woah. what an overly impressive
cumulus there... but why are there so many pink butterfly up here?

<crrrrr...rrr...rrRRRCHK!>

Woa, Vic. Did you hear that? This was the cockpit do

<brzzzap><fsssssskkk><gschsch...>



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