Operation "Snow cap"

Mission 02

Sir Skybuster's PIREP

All the leaves are broooown,
And the sky is greeeeeey!
pom, pom, pom.
...
Yes, I am here, at the end of rwy 16 at Zurich and setting my AP for
departure. I look ahead and ... nothing. Only that grey sky (ceiling
1,000 Ft) and a flat landscape. Are you sure we are in Switzerland? If
I had not been here before, I could swear this country was as flat as Denmark.
OK, here is the navigation: I don't have a DME and I know that the
glacier base is at 5,7000 Ft ASL. I'll set the AP for 7,000 Ft. Let's
hope there is no peaks before the glaciers.
Then, I remember that my father told me that when he was parachuting, he
used to fly at 120 Kts because it was easy to calculate distances and
time. Lemme see, 29 NM at 120 Kts, that is, two miles per minute. Then I
will be there after say, 15 minutes.
I started at 14:00 and four minutes later, I am airborne, and on the
radial 147 from the VOR. ETA then is 14:19. Flaps and gear in, lean the
mixture and pull back some of the RPM. Climb gently at 800 fpm.
Look around. Not much to see. The 4 NM visibility seems less in this
overcast weather. In fact, I have to look aside if I want to see
anything. Looks like a lot of urban area. Are we over Zurich itself?

I went for a waaaalk,
On such a winter's day!
pom, pom, pom.
...
14:15. Hum, it is getting more hilly here. We must be closing the mountains.
14:16. There! I see the first snow! OK, we are closing in. Altitude?
7,000. Should be OK.
14:20. We should be there. I look around. Nothing. On the VOR, I see
that I am a bit too much to the east of the radial. Turn west.
Looking, looking. Nothing. Turn north again because it looks like the
mountains in the south are huge. I think I evaluated one top to be over
8,000 Ft and good old Hey Jude is not such a good climber. Anyway, if
the base is at 5,700 then it must be before that peak.
There, I see the lake and river. That's what I should have spotted the
first time. OK, I fly manually along the river, then turn 180 degrees
and fly south again. Nothing. Nothing to see. I turn this time to the
east, checking the radial. It MUST be somewhere here. But what I am
looking for?
A beacon. But what kind of beacon? I turn west again, then north, and
east. I am basically going an unorganized search pattern.
Suddenly, I see a beacon, then something dark on the snow. Many small
points. Is that the tents they are talking about? Then it's the place.
Look, there is also a radio mast nearby.
But I don't see any runway. To the north again, over the river, turn
left, to south, then further to about 140. Do I see the camp? No. Damn
it! lost again. This will take time. Another turn, yes, there is is. I
have to take a low pass to inspect that location. Yes, I can see the
runway now. It looks like it is marked with something. Ok, I get the
picture. Again to the north, a long way. Turn to the south and follow
the river/lake. There, the radio mast! So, the runway should be slightly
to its right. Flaps and gears out! S**T! I am at 5,500 Ft, bellow the
runway! Climb! OK, heading? 150. A bit on the side but not much. Fly a
bit more west. OK, I see the beacon getting nearer but I can't see the
runway. Where are the markers? There! Wow, the ground is getting close
fast, flare and touch down.
Merde, Nom de dieu! Putain de bordel, alors! (Excuse my French, Ma'am).
I have landed parallel to the runway outside the markers!
OK, but it is hard ice. No real damage, just a nasty noise when I hit it.
Vroum, vroum! I taxi toward the hummer's driver. I know that he is
laughing at me right now. I can see him across the windshield.
Enough for today. I cut the engines, and go to meet him. Maybe he can
drive me to one of these tents that are heated. Maybe we can have a
Swiss fondue tonight. Maybe the boss will loose his piece of bread in
the fondue and then it will be his turn to go into the barrel. maybe.
Oh yes! I did take the barrel with me! If we are going to have a party,
we will certainly need it.

Cheers,
Mike Skybuster